What is this site?
This is Push the Third Button Twice, your largely unreliable source for information that may or may not relate to the reality you current inhabit.

So is this a news site?
That depends what the meaning of the word “is” is.

How many people are employed here?
I don’t know, I don’t even know where you are right now. Frankly, this line of questioning is growing tiresome.

Can I be a writer at PTTBT?
You know, just asking that question in some countries would make you unemployable for life.

Can I purchase text links on your site?
I suppose, but the only words we currently sell are “horrible”, “corrupt” and “venereal disease”.

Is it true you terminated your movies editor?
Oh no, did his body wash up on shore again?

What does Push the Third Button Twice actually mean?
From MCM, founder: “One day it will make sense, and when that day comes, remember the site is named after that moment, not the other way around.” So really, it means nothing at all.

Did you realize the Onion does this same gag, only better?
I’m sorry, what gag?

Why don’t you do a story about XYZ?
Honestly, I have no idea what XYZ is. Are you off your meds again?

What do I do if I have a question?
Raise your hand, and I’ll make my way there eventually. Though if you have to pee, you can just go.

How do I contact you?
He gave us a signal!